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He might or might not be comfortable with this seeming contradiction, a hetero guy who, despite his lust for women, rejects a straight label, a sexual category and a sexual description that feels foreign. Adapted with permission from Mostly Straight: Thus, he is a closer cousin to straight guys than to traditional bisexual guys. But how much gayness? Perhaps if his culture were not so stigmatizing of same-sex sexuality he might be more inclined to express himself through tangible expressions of sex or romance — not frequently but occasionally. Given such constraints, these young men were left with no place to truthfully register their sexuality, thus forcing them to be less than honest. Well, if we are prepared to accept mostly straight as a fourth sexual identity, we gain an increasingly nuanced understanding of sexual orientation — and its close cousin, romantic orientation.

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But to fall passionately in love with a guy is too much, though he might have quite strong feelings and cuddle with a best friend.

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Why ‘Mostly Straight’ Men Are a Distinct Sexual Identity

It is Mostly Straight: Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors. How do these values and practices play out in the future? How can a man be mostly heterosexual? Long hair, short hair, clean-shaven, bearded, tattooed, pierced, muscular, lanky, hyper and pudgy. As adolescents and young adults, they are happier and more satisfied with their lives than previous generations. To the uninitiated, mostly straight may seem paradoxical.

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But there is a new kid on the block: Savin-Williams is a professor emeritus of development psychology at Cornell University and the author most recently of Mostly Straight: Long hair, short hair, clean-shaven, bearded, tattooed, pierced, muscular, lanky, hyper and pudgy. These attractions are sexual, romantic or both and can be expressed in various ways, from erotic fantasies to actual behavior. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors. He is not a disgruntled straight man tired of sex with women, nor is he necessarily unhappy or frustrated with the availability of heterosexual sex.

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